The Effect Of A Life (from "A Slip Of The Tongue")

sometimes I don't even know where to begin.
I just see a drowning ocean past.

I think that the confusion in my life started
when I realized that I was different
in relation to my peers; I found that not fitting in
hurt me (and to some degree, them), because they would lash out at me
in retaliation.

I have tried to forget the years
and live like a kind of sublime vegetable,
but the cost of this has been my diminishing soul.

of course there have been those who have tried to save me,
but what is there to be saved?
you see, I have always known this way.

as a child I explored the darkness
not knowing what it was.
to me it was new
and exciting.

as the years progressed I was occasionally reminded
through the lessons of people, karma and those of a higher embodiment
that the darkness is an unfulfilling place to reside.

it eventually took me two lives to figure this out on my own.

I guess I had to learn this lesson the hard way.
and now I look back and it seems a dream to me.

yes, the things I have done karma will never forget,
but some nights, when the bottle is low and the moon is bright,
I can forget about her, and about them,
and let myself fall back into that easy darkness,
further and further, further and further,

until maybe
I might accept the significance a single life can have on a person -
how a single moment can create such unhappiness,
and how easy it is for everything to be lost in the effect.

View Poem (posted 3:35 AM) 

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