5th Grade

I was taken from a private school and put into a public school
when I was in the 5th grade
in the middle of the first semester.
the girls
the boys
the bullies
they didn’t like me
and each day was like hell as
I was laughed at, beaten on and
shunned.
when I went home after school my parents fought constantly
and I was verbally and physically beaten
because they were failing their own lives.
I was not allowed to listen to music
and I dressed poor
and food was good if it was
around.
I tried to make friends at school but
I was perceived as the outcast
and even the biggest loser of the school told me he did not want
to be my friend.
I spent each day alone,
eating alone,
sitting on the play ground alone,
lucky enough not to be tortured by the
children.

one teacher though, Mrs. Nagote, seemed to take pity on me
and she would talk to me
and it was nice to have someone to talk to.
everyone thought that I was retarded because I talked with a lisp
and I used to have to take speech class
and all the children knew about it
and they used to make fun of me for it
and there was only one other girl in my speech class who couldn’t say
the letter R
and I used to have to sit there and listen to her try to say words
with the letter R in it.

Mrs. Nagote was my homeroom teacher
and she genuinely cared to hear what I had to say
when all the other children didn’t
and I remember when I made it through that year of hell
and on the last school day
Mrs. Nagote asked me if I would be back next year
and I promised her that I would
and as the summer moved on
and the Arizona days brought the next school year
my mother came into my bedroom and said
that I would not be going back to
that public school
and it was then
that I realized

that I

could

control

nothing.

5th Grade

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